How many layers does an egg have?

A Hindu and a Sikh were sitting next to each other on a train. (Background info: Hindus are typically vegetarian while Sikhs eat meat.) The Hindu wanted to open the window, but couldn't do it. The Sikh reached over and opened it for him, and said "you know, if you ate some chicken once in a way, you would get some strength." Then, he wanted to move his seat forward, but couldn't do it. The Sikh moved it for him, and again said "you know, if you ate some chicken once in a way, you would get some strength." A couple hours later, as the train was approaching the station, the Hindu was playing with the emergency chain, hitting it back and forth. The Sikh, thinking he wanted to pull it, reached over and pulled it for him, and said "you know, if you ate some chicken once in a way, you would get some strength." The siren went off and the train made an emergency stop. The conductor came to see what was going on and the police soon arrived. The Hindu said to the Sikh, "you know, if you ate some rice once in a way, you would get some brains."

Because they're afraid of whales.

Oh no my soy socks!

Because where there is a Will, there is a Way.

I finally realized, I left my phone in Airplane mode.

She said no whey

Look what marmalade

Pardon my French

Once upon a time, long, long ago there were two unique lions in the jungles of Africa. Both, it seems, had human-like qualities that allowed them to claim territory, daring the other to cross over the line. Strange as it seems, the boundary between their turf became a well traveled trail through the jungle. All day, every day, both lions lay in the brush staring across the trail at their compatriot, daring him to cross into their territory. The local natives knew of this animal feud, but all this was unbeknown to African Jack, a well-known and very publicized guide who did not speak Lionese and was unfamiliar with the territory. While he was leading a safari through the jungle, the travelers had to walk and cut vines with their machetes, and all this constant hacking brush had them worn to a frazzle. After seeing two or three of his safari drop from exhaustion, African Jack decided to stop on the trail between these two lions and camp for the night. After setting up camp, eating, and getting his safari settled African Jack sat on a stump and began reading. While he was busily engaged in the printed page, the two lions, simultaneously, pounced on African Jack and ate him on the spot. When the 6 o'clock news heard of the tragedy, they reported, "African Jack killed this evening. The motive is unclear, but it is reported he was reading between the lions."

I'm on my 4th draft.